Bombs Blowing Up The World

Man...I just finished writing this blog and I am having a hard time hitting "Publish".  But, here it goes...

So, last night, we had our normal argument with our oldest about eating dinner.  It goes the same every night.  Either my wife or I make dinner for the boys and ourselves and every night, the oldest complains about what we make for him to eat.  So, we started giving him time limits and choices - either eat your dinner, or go to bed hungry.  Normally, that works.  Sometimes, he only eats part of it.  But, rarely, he decides to go to bed without eating.  Last night was one of those rare nights.  But, this time, there was a momentous temper tantrum attached with real tears, screaming, and the spitting defiant phrases about not wanting to go to bed.

In light of all of this, we decided that our little boy was tired and needed to go to bed an hour early - he hadn't had his nap.  So, I explained the situation to him.  I told him why he was going to bed.  I also reassured him of how much we love him.  I told him that if he quite crying and yelling, I would read him his bedtime story, but he would still have to go to bed.  There was a moment in there, though.  It was a memorable moment.  He and I met eyes.  I stared into his and he stared into mine.  My heart just wanted to love on him.  So, I asked him if he could see it.  Could he see my love for him in my heart through my eyes?  He smiled and nodded that he could.  The tears still hadn't dried on his cheek, yet.

I asked him to go ahead and go get whichever book he wanted to read.  He chose a Magic School Bus story about dinosaurs.  I hunkered down, indian style, on his floor, and he sat in my lap.  About half-way through the story, he got up to go get his special blankie and came back and cuddled in my lap.  Before I was done with the book, he was out.  Snoring.

I picked him up, and put him into his bed.  That was about 7:30 p.m.

And, that, more or less, is our nightly ritual.  Most nights we don't have the temper tantrum, but we do dinner, get ready for bed, read a story, and the boys lay down.

So, I hopped on Facebook for a few minutes, helped fold some laundry while we watched Sea Quest and then when that was done, I went to my "man cave" and played some video games.  I started playing at about 10:30 p.m., but by about midnight, my wife comes upstairs with a concerned look on her face and tells me that our oldest son had a dream.

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Apparently, he had woken up and went to go get momma to tell her his dream.  He dreamed that there were bombs falling from the sky and that they exploded the whole world.  That was it.  But, in that short explanation, there is just so much more.

About three or four weeks ago, my wife started having intuitions and dreams - that we've never discussed with or in the presence of the children.  She had a feeling that "something" was coming.  She couldn't ever put her finger on what that "something" was, but there was a feeling of impending doom.  She's had two or three dreams about it since then, too.

A couple of days after she had her dream, she began to talk about it with some of her closest friends.  They, too, have been having dreams.  The friend that she has been talking about this with he most - we'll call her Jennifer since I don't have her permission to talk about this - had a dream that there were a large number of people all huddled together in the hallways of a hospital in Boston.  Jennifer doesn't live in Boston, nor ever has to my knowledge.

A few days later, my wife gets a text message from Jennifer that said she had a dream that in mid-December there were going to be a lot of innocent deaths.  And then in later December there is going to be a power outage for a few days.  These are all dreams, mind you and there is always room for interpretation and debate.

So, I want to say that for the most part, I am a skeptic - a doubting Thomas.  I believe in God.  I believe in the supernatural.  But, I don't usually believe people when they say that they are experiencing the supernatural.  I have been a member of a couple of churches in the past that really rubbed me the wrong way in that regard.  But, I have also been a part of a church who's pastor was a prophet.  So, I've seen both sides of this coin and these dreams are hard for me to ignore.

Maybe nothing will happen.  Most likely, nothing will happen.  But, what if there is something to it?  I know that archaeologists have already disproved the supposed Mayan Doomsday prediction.  The Mayan's never predicted such a thing.  And, I know that the Bible says that no one will ever know the time when Jesus will return and rapture His people - yes, I believe in Jesus and the rapture.  So, I feel confident that the world will not end on 21 December 2012. 

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But, I will say that the dreams and just thinking about the possibility that something could happen to my family, my wife and I have decided to start doing some emergency planning and preparations.  We bought a 12ga shotgun for home defense - I've never owned a firearm before.  We are creating a shelter-in-place emergency kit which will eventually have three days-worth of supplies.  We are creating evacuation plans (which is actually an Air Force requirement, anyway).  At the end of the day, whether we believe that something horrible is brewing or not, it is always good to have an emergency kit.  We also bought a survival book: SAS Survival Handbook: Revised Edition, by John "Lofty" Wiseman.  We changed or added items on our Amazon wish lists to reflect our desire to learn survival skills.

To be honest, we're not doomsday preppers or anything like that.  But, my wife, with regard to her dreams and intuition, has this sinking feeling that our country is headed towards a civil war.  Neither of us has seen this country so divided as it is now.  Granted, we're only about 30 years old.  And sure, there have been other periods in time, other presidential elections, that our country had a hard time keeping it together and maintaining its composure.  But, all of the hatred being spewed in every direction on Facebook and in the media scares us.  It scares us for our children and what future will or won't greet us eventually. 

The Newtown, CT shooting was horrible.  But, instead of mourning the loss of 20 innocent 6 and 7 year olds, our country turns in on itself and argues.  We spit venom at each other about gun control.  Gun control.  Instead of talking about the mental illnesses that people who conduct such massacres must be suffering from, we talk about regulating "evil" guns as if they are inherently good or evil.

We are scared.  I miss my family.  I have three brothers and each of them lives somewhere different.  One of them even lives in another country right now - doing great things, but still far away.  I miss my dad who also lives yet somewhere else.  My mother is separate from all of them as well living elsewhere with her cousins and family from her father's side of her family.  Now, more than ever, we want to be "off the grid".  We want an earthship.  We want to feel secure.  We have never felt less certain than we do now.  And, it isn't because of a dream, or even a collection of dreams.  It is because the country and the world gives us reason to be.